What made it interesting was that I actually felt guilty about what I had done.
It was a Thursday afternoon, and I was under the weather - no, on my deathbed is more like it. I was sick as a dog, sick as a cat, sick as a whole host of exotic beasts you can find in a local pet shop. I was that sick - don't-touch-me-because-I-hurt-all-over sick. Sick.
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So, I went to Lafene Health Center. The problem was, I was so busy with meetings I had to skip one to see a doctor. There simply was no other time in my schedule. And I felt guilty about that - that's the weird part. I had been so conditioned to believe everyone else's time was more valuable than mine, and I had committed some egregious error against my peers by not showing up at a meeting.
I don't even remember what the meeting was about. All I know is that the universe didn't cave in because I wasn't there. I know this, because if the universe had caved in, my illness wouldn't have mattered much, would it?
Maybe I'm a weenie for whining about being sick - after all, real men don't get sick. Real men don't get shot, either. If we do get sick or wind up with a bullet wound, we take a shot of whiskey and keep fighting, dammit. That's what John Wayne does, and so that's what men do. Bite the bullet, kid, take one in the leg - c'mon, it'll put hair on your chest.
Well, I have enough hair on my chest, thank you, and I get these sinus infections like you wouldn't believe. My head must be advertised as a winter vacation spot for bacteria, because come October, that's where they are - in my sinuses, in a condo with a view, hitting the $4.95 all-you-can-eat buffet, staying out late at night, and renting boats for $15-per half-hour to sail across my tender, delicate temporal mucosa.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have made it clear that because of the looming threat of growing bacterial resistance to antibiotics, doctors should avoid creating drug-resistant strains. Doctors should not prescribe antibiotics for frivolous infections - like, say, sinus infections - because the CDC found the illness usually disappears within 10-14 days on its own.
Clearly, no one at the CDC has ever had a sinus infection.
My bacteria take up permanent residence unless I chase them off with a mangy extract from moldy bread like the CDC-is-full-of-idiots-acillin or kill-the-bacteria-before-my-head-explodes-acillin.
You get the point. I was sick, and when I started to examine why I had become sick, I somehow couldn't help but notice I had been getting a maximum of three hours of sleep that week. I also couldn't help but notice the only way I could get to the doctor was by skipping a meeting - that the only way I could have any free time was by skipping a meeting - and that somehow seemed ludicrous to me.
Now, my objective is not to bitch about how busy I am. Everyone is busy. It's college, and I have no one to blame but myself for my level of involvement - after all, I could have said no, right?
Well, I came to K-State with some interest in getting involved. I will not lie, I did have some ambition. So, at first, it was something I welcomed.
"Hey, Jon, do this - you will be able to help a number of people, and it looks great on a resume."
"Hey, Jon, do this - we want your input, because we think you have a lot to offer."
"Jon, what's your position on ..."
"Jon, you should run for this ..."
"Jon, did you ever think about ..."
The voices continued. Naturally, I didn't want to let anyone down, which is perhaps the funny part. A number of people get involved to put things on their rŽsumŽ. I got involved to help my fellow students - who really only needed help with activities of marginal relevance, anyway.
The funny part: I don't even have a resume!
All I have is a transcript. Say what you want about extracurricular activities, my current take is many of them are only valuable as long as they offer some learning experience beyond what is offered in the classroom. The minute classroom learning falls to second place, it's time to re-evaluate.
One could say I succumbed to peer pressure by taking on so many tasks. The truth is, even the fastest antelope is going to have a hard time not becoming a meal in a room full of lion. We really open the floodgates at K-State. We really do our best to find a core group of students and hand them all of the titles and responsibility, while the rest of the campus, perhaps the more intelligent part, commits themselves to working on the things they want to work on - grades, recreation, girlfriends, finding a job, working on a job.
That can make us hypocrites. We say, on the one hand, grades are important while, on the other hand, activities are essential. When the two begin to conflict with one another, no adviser or group leader can offer constructive advice on which direction is best to take. Each person enthusiastically believes that their activity, academic or otherwise, is best.
What we need to begin to take to heart is that the only way to avoid falling into a pit of scholastic doom is to have a clear plan to organize and balance activities and academics before beginning at K-State.
But there is no activity advisor. We have advisors for academics, but no one to help us navigate all of the hundreds of organizations K-State offers. If activities and academics are both key for success after school, does it make sense that we have people to suggest a direction within a major, but no one to suggest a direction outside of it?
There has been discussion for a number of years about the idea of campus apathy, about the number of people going to the polls and about how dismal that number really is. The people who are voting are the same people who are involved in too many activities. They're the same people who are conditioned to give a hoot.
If we're going to bother to have student government, we need to try to make a concerted effort to correct that imbalance. Perhaps a few central advisers for activities can help us form a campus where everyone who is interested can know how to step in the right direction, how to be involved and how not to become discouraged. Activities could let the advisers know who they need, and the advisers could find those people.
It would be like junior Career and Employment Services - the campus activity service.
Maybe then a few of those voices will get what they need, and the rest of us can take our antibiotics and get some sleep.